DINH DOONG

In an explosive episode of The View that left viewers grabbing their popcorn and network executives bracing for impact, Whoopi Goldberg dropped a bombshell: she’s ready to book a one-way ticket out of the United States if former President Donald Trump reclaims the Oval Office. The announcement, delivered with all the drama one would expect from a daytime talk show, has since ignited a flurry of reactions ranging from applause and laughter to eye-rolls and sighs of “here we go again.”

“I swear, if the 45th gets back in office, I’m outta here,” Whoopi declared, leaning into her co-hosts as if to emphasize the gravity of her words. “I’m packing my bags, calling an Uber to the airport, and saying ‘adios.’ I love this country, but even I have limits.”

This isn’t the first time Whoopi has threatened to ditch the good ol’ U.S. of A. over political differences, but it’s certainly the most theatrical. As the The View panel nodded in understanding, you could almost see the mental checklist forming in Whoopi’s mind: passport, plane ticket, and maybe a stylish hat for her dramatic exit.

“I mean, have you seen the state of things lately?” she continued, shaking her head with that signature Goldberg exasperation. “It’s like a reality TV show gone wrong, and if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s bad television.” (Which is ironic, considering she’s been starring in daytime television for years.)

While her co-hosts, including Joy Behar and Sunny Hostin, tried to maintain straight faces, the audience couldn’t help but chuckle. After all, the thought of Whoopi waving goodbye at JFK airport, suitcase in hand and shades on, is the kind of visual that screams satire, even if the sentiment is sincere.

As always, there’s a fine line between a heartfelt declaration and a hyperbolic soundbite on The View. Whoopi’s comments immediately sparked a national debate on whether this was just another dramatic promise made in the heat of the moment, or if we should start a GoFundMe for her plane ticket.

“You know what? Maybe I’ll head to Canada. They’ve got free healthcare, no Trump, and maple syrup,” she quipped, before adding with a wink, “Or maybe I’ll go somewhere warmer. I’m thinking the south of France. Can you picture it? Me on a beach, sipping wine, and not worrying about the latest tweets.”

Her co-hosts burst into laughter, with Joy Behar adding, “Well, if you go, I’m coming with you. We’ll start a show called ‘The View… Abroad!’” And just like that, the segment became less about a serious political stance and more about a fantasy escape plan for the Hollywood elite.

Whoopi’s threat to leave the country isn’t exactly groundbreaking. Over the years, dozens of celebrities have sworn to flee if their least favorite politicians were elected. Yet, despite all these grand promises, America’s airports have yet to see a mass exodus of A-listers clutching their passports and one-way tickets to Europe.

Whoopi’s vow has even inspired a new wave of social media reactions, with people offering to help her pack, drive her to the airport, or suggest alternative destinations. One user wrote, “I’ll pitch in for her ticket, but only if she promises not to come back until she learns to pronounce the Prime Minister’s name in whatever country she ends up in.”

Others were less enthusiastic. “Oh great, another millionaire threatening to leave the country if things don’t go their way. Newsflash: Most of us can’t even afford to leave our city,” one tweet read, capturing the frustration of viewers who are tired of hearing empty threats from celebrities who could actually afford to make good on them.

=Whether you love her or hate her, Whoopi knows how to draw a crowd. The day after her announcement, ratings for The View spiked, proving once again that the combination of political drama, celebrity opinions, and the never-ending Trump saga is a winning formula for daytime TV.

Producers at ABC are likely thrilled with the attention, even if it’s centered around their star’s promise to ditch the country. “Hey, it’s good for ratings,” said an anonymous insider. “We’ve got Whoopi threatening to leave, Joy yelling about conspiracies, and Meghan McCain tweeting about how she could moderate the show better. What more could we ask for?”

Of course, not everyone at the network is thrilled. Rumor has it that the show’s legal team is quietly preparing for the inevitable backlash, perhaps drafting a clause in Whoopi’s contract that requires her to stay put in the U.S. until at least the next election. After all, who will fill her spot on The View if she actually follows through?

Since Whoopi has now made it clear she’s ready to flee the States, it only makes sense to start planning her itinerary. Here are a few possible destinations that could become her new home:

Canada: It’s close, it’s safe, and they have universal healthcare. Plus, she can still get cable to keep up with American drama.

France: Who wouldn’t want to sip wine on the French Riviera? Plus, the food is top-notch, and she could finally perfect her French accent.

New Zealand: Far, far away from political chaos, with stunning landscapes and adorable Kiwi accents. Imagine Whoopi herding sheep. Delightful.

Antarctica: No politics, just penguins. It’s a bit cold, but hey, if she really wants to get away from it all, there’s no better place.

While these may just be hypothetical, fans have taken to social media to suggest travel plans and even lodging arrangements, just in case. One user wrote, “I hear Greenland is lovely this time of year. Plenty of ice, fewer political debates.”

=Of course, the big question is: What if Trump doesn’t win? Will Whoopi unpack her bags and act as though nothing happened, or will she double down and announce a vacation “just in case”?

Political analysts are already weighing in on what her announcement means for The View and the broader cultural landscape. “It’s not every day a celebrity makes such a grand exit plan over an election,” said one expert. “But it’s 2024, and at this point, we’re used to anything. Next, we’ll probably see Oprah declaring she’s moving to Mars if she doesn’t like the results.”

As election day inches closer, all eyes will be on Whoopi Goldberg to see if she’s truly ready to follow through with her promise. Will she wave goodbye, wearing sunglasses and a hat, boarding a plane to the south of France, or will she quietly retract her statement during a commercial break, mumbling something about “over-exaggeration” and “just joking, guys”?

Ultimately, Whoopi Goldberg’s latest statement is just another episode in the long-running series of Hollywood vs. Trump. But unlike some of her peers, Whoopi’s threats carry a bit of sincerity. She’s never been shy about expressing her views, and if there’s one thing we know, it’s that she’s willing to stir the pot.

Whether she’s packing her bags or just packing in the ratings, Whoopi’s announcement has ensured that she remains a focal point in the political theater that is American media. So, will she stay or will she go? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: if she does decide to leave, we’re all going to miss the daily drama she brings to The View — even if we pretend otherwise.

NOTE: This is SATIRE, it’s not True.